PhD Journey Unveiled #1: ‘Should I even be reflecting it’?

KROCKY MESHKIN Headless Sightings - Exhibit U

Headless Sightings – Exhibit U

This post is part of a reflective series that I am beginning to write in my blog that at least aims to examine my PhD journey. Let’s just call it the “PhD Journey Unveiled”. Perhaps something in it is going to be useful to someone else also taking such a journey.

After I started the PhD journey in last April, I haven’t been too active in writing here on the blog. It seems that all the reading and writing in other venues somehow removes the eagerness to blog – who would’ve figured?! 😀

Still, I know that I am lying when I say this at least for two reasons. First, the easy one is that I’ve experienced tons of stuff that I could’ve written about. Second, those tons were mostly to do with cultural issues, of which I am still trying to understand after working and studying 1,5 years in Australian higher education.

When I say this, I want to make a constructive argument here. I’ve come to realize that many of the things you experience as frustrations or nuisances, are in fact the learning process. This might be an obvious thing to many of you out there, but for me, it is a revelation. Especially to a person who never takes comments or feedback lightly: hi to my Masters degree facilitators, who were from very different cultural backgrounds where I am from. I am sure I gave some hard time with my overflowing critique and citing Paulo Freire in every chance I got! 😀

But back to the point, which is describing PhD journey. And when I say describe I mean it in a very phenomenological sense – yes, I will be doing a phenomenological analysis in my thesis. My goal is to try to go beyond my own natural attitude of confronting everyday matters and events of this journey, and try to balance and understand them.

Final note. I’m the most incapable of all people to write a daily journal or anything similar. I have tried many times, and failed as many. Still, I am hopeful that this might perhaps grow to be a constructive exhaust pipe of sorts where the subject of study (me) can analyze and reflect various issues in the PhD journey by lifting them from secluded consciousness for personal scrutiny – and at the same time scrutinizing my own natural attitude. We’ll see how it goes.

And to unveil such a “solitary and secret journey” feels actually quite interesting and at the same time perhaps slightly intimidating. To me it seems the PhD journey is somehow done in solitude and in secrecy, as if there was something to hide about it. Sorry, just can’t help myself not doing it this way – once again. 😉


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